


So there

by shamelessnameless



Series: So there-Verse [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Consent Issues, Explicit Sex, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Underage Sex, bondmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 07:48:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18090335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelessnameless/pseuds/shamelessnameless
Summary: Lucius and Harry are bondmates. It breaks them but not in the way you would think.





	So there

**Author's Note:**

> Harry is underage for the explicit sex scenes in this. There are consent issues due to alpha/omega dynamics. 
> 
> Major character death.

“Shh,“ Lucius said but he didn’t make a move to come closer to Harry. Harry had pushed himself deeper into the corner of Lucius’ bedroom, ass still leaking copiously, arms wrapped around his undoubtedly cramping stomach, and kept crying, big, ugly sobs that shook his whole body. Lucius moved slowly on the bed, sitting up himself. He planted his feet on the floor and took off his waistcoat, slowly rolling up the sleeves of his light blue shirt, before leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. He kept looking at Harry, waiting while his heart run a mile a minute. He was sure that Harry wasn’t yet as tuned in with Lucius as Lucius was with Harry; how nervous and heartbroken Lucius himself was could forever remain his secret.

 

“Harry,” he tried when Harry’s sobs had turned down in volume. Harry turned his head away in response and cried harder again. The fear was rolling off of him in waves, as was the self-loathing. 

 

This was, without doubt, the worst day of Lucius’ life.

 

“Harry,” Lucius said again, “I don’t know what you’ve been told what would happen here. I’m not going to hurt you.”

 

“I don’t want this,” Harry howled, and Lucius went down then, sat himself down opposite Harry on the white plush carpet surrounding his bed. He didn’t reach out, hoped against hope that his scent would calm Harry, that instinct would overrun logic. It would make it so much easier for both of them but given that Harry’s freak-out had started when he had wanted to open up to Lucius like any omega should to his alpha, he had no doubt that someone had told Harry to remain in control.

 

 _Idiots_ , Lucius thought and willed himself to remain calm.

 

“My poor little thing,” he said, “just breathe Harry. I promise I won’t hurt you. I promise you won’t lose control. This is not what a bond is about, not at all.”

 

“Sirius said I shouldn’t listen to what you say about a bond,” Harry answered and promptly looked horrified. He had probably also been told not to tell Lucius this, but his instincts run as deep as Lucius own’; to open up, to trust your bondmate was forcing Harry to talk, just as it forced Lucius to completely forget about Harry’s heat; there was something bigger at stake here and he wouldn’t fuck it up.

 

“I know that the Harry from a week ago had no reason at all to trust me,” Lucius said, carefully. “Just as I had no reason to trust you. I watched you being tortured in the graveyard; I followed the Dark Lord again. But it’s different now. I give you my word – I swear on my family’s name and my heir’s health – that you will never have to fear me again. You’re my omega, Harry. Everything I didn’t dare to do before, I will do now to protect you. I hold you holy. People who think nothing of bonds and nothing of me have been talking to you ever since you presented. How about you talk to me instead?”

 

Harry sniffled, and Lucius waited.

 

“Will it hurt?” Harry asked and promptly dissolved in tears again, clearly horrified at not being able to keep the question in. Lucius hurt for him terribly; to have your first time like this with someone you hated and only hearing the worst of stories about it – Lucius didn’t want to imagine it.

 

“No,” he said, “I will go slow. Your body was made for it. The cramps won’t bother you when I’m inside you. We won’t do anything you don’t want to do. If your fear is too great, you’re not wet; that’s the only thing we have to look out for. But if that happens, we double back and build it back up. I will make it incredible for you, I promise.”

 

“I’m not even gay,” Harry cried, and Lucius _ached_ to hold him.

 

“Do you really know that already?” he asked as gently as he could, “when I was your age, I didn’t know myself yet. I didn’t know yet that I like both genders, though I have always preferred men.”

 

Harry shrugged but he looked just a tiny bit less terrified than a moment ago. “I don’t know,” he admitted, “I just – I – maybe – I don’t know.”

 

“That’s okay,” Lucius said, “that I’m your mate doesn’t have to mean that you’re gay. You can still like women. Or you might not ever be interested in anyone besides me after we’ve bonded. I am very sure, I won’t be.”

 

“What about Narcissa?” Harry asked, and Lucius crossed his arms on his knees, loosely gripping his wrist.

 

“The divorce is getting finalized as we speak,” he said, “which is why I couldn’t take you to the Manor. She still has full access there. The London flat has always been exclusively mine.”

 

“What do you use it for?” Harry asked.

 

“I spent the week in London, most of the time, leaving for work here,” Lucius said, “it’s more convenient and allowed me to spent time apart from a wife I never liked. We married because of family pressure, both of us. Narcissa is very excited to be free of me.”

 

“What will she do?” Harry said, relaxing a tiny bit more.

 

“The Dark Lord plans on breaking out her sister,” Lucius said without hesitation, hoping it would underline his earlier point. “Bellatrix has always had great power over Narcissa. She will most likely rile her up, make her regret losing me and my money even though she doesn’t think so now. She’ll put her on a revenge path. It’s something we will have to watch out for in the coming months.”

 

Harry just looked at him, eyed big and wide. “Sirius said to be careful to believe what you said about Voldemort,” he said, but he sounded unsure.

 

“I understand that,” Lucius said and waited Harry out.

 

“Is it true that I will know what you think after we’ve bonded?” Harry asked.

 

“Yes,” Lucius said simply, “but you’ll be able to block me. And it’s very discourteous to pry. I won’t be doing it to you. I prefer to talk about things and then sharing them mentally; I hope you’ll agree with this.”

 

“Do I have to live with you after we’ve bonded?” Harry asked, and his lower lip trembled. Lucius wanted to point out that his questions were all over the place, not following any kind of particular logic but he didn’t, guessed that it would feel like an insult to Harry. Lucius liked a structured conversation; but he wasn’t 15 and a half, and about to bond himself to a man more than twice his age, so he didn’t dare to mention it.

 

“I would like you to,” Lucius said, “after we’ve bonded you will – know that I speak the truth when I tell you that I hold you holy. That I believe you to be my biggest gift. That I plan on reforming myself however much you need me to, to become someone you can love. An omega-alpha bond is something precious beyond words, Harry. Whatever horror stories you have heard – there not all that’s out there. Merlin and Arthur once shared an omega-alpha bond and they made Britain. Our bond will allow us to share our magic, to make unbelievable things come true. We will literally be able to bring each other back from the brink of death. We will grow older than other wizards. The power and the deepness of our feelings might be – overwhelming. Scary. But I will never treat you as anything less than the man completing me. If you don’t want to move in with me, you don’t. You’ll have to finish your education anyways.”

 

“I don’t want kids,” Harry blurted out, but Lucius could tell that he was calm again, that his legs already opened again to allow Lucius in. Soon, the heat would not allow him to withdraw again but Lucius would do so, if necessary.

 

“And I don’t want you to have kids for years,” Lucius said calmly, “if ever. If you don’t want them, we don’t have them. And if you want them – I can only encourage you to build your career first, to grow up. Kids can come later in life. I was 26 when I had Draco and I wouldn’t have minded waiting another ten years.”

 

“I didn’t take the protection potion,” Harry said, words tripping all over himself. “Professor Dumbledore said not to, that you would – could smell it on me once I became aroused and that – you might hurt me for taking it.”

 

“That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard,” Lucius said, and pushed his anger at Dumbledore ruthlessly down. This wasn’t the time to let his mind wander. “I won’t smell it on you. That’s ridiculous. If you brought one, go and take it. Otherwise I’ll get one from my lab.”

 

“I brought one,” Harry said, “Professor Dumbledore forced Snape to brew me one.”

 

“On second thought,” Lucius said and called for Tinny. The elf appeared swiftly; Harry twitched when she arrived. “Bring Harry a contraceptive potion, Tinny,” he commanded and watched Tinny reappear with the bottle a moment later.

 

“Why yours?” Harry asked after he had drunk it down.

 

“Dumbledore doesn’t trust me,” Lucius said, “and I don’t trust him. It would be distasteful to me to get you pregnant underaged and it would be distasteful to many others. Better not to take any risks.”

 

“I trust him,” Harry said and raised his chin and Lucius was hit with a wave of tenderness so strong he couldn’t help but smile at Harry.

 

“He cast aside his own omega,” Lucius said, “I do not have a high opinion of any alpha doing this.”

 

“What?” Harry said but Lucius shook his head. “I’ll tell you all about it,” he promised, “but do come back up to the bed with me. You’re getting wetter and I don’t want us to do it on the floor.”

 

Harry’s face went beet red, but he did move up to the bed. Lucius followed him a moment later, running a hand up his side before gently cupping his head and leaning in to kiss him. He could tell that Harry bit off another moan.

 

“Just trust your body,” Lucius said, “it knows what to do my darling. Let me hear you; don’t hold yourself back.”

 

“I’m so embarrassed,” Harry said and then he was crying again but this time he borrowed against Lucius’ body, almost tried to crawl underneath him. Lucius blanketed him, rubbing over his shoulders and up into his hair, gently massaging him.

 

“I know that it won’t help much, but you have no reason whatsoever to feel embarrassed,” Lucius told him, “you’re giving me the greatest gift I can receive. I know it’s – overwhelming. I know it’s far from ideal to have your first time forced on you by your heat. I wish it had happened later and I wished it had happened with someone you’ve built a positive rapport with, for your sake. But for me – you’re the most arousing thing in the world. Your scent, your body, your hair, your slick; it all turns me on so much Harry. Don’t be embarrassed when it’s only me who gets to see you like this and I love to see you like this. Nothing that happens here does ever have to leave this room.”

 

“Please,” Harry shuddered out and Lucius knew that he didn’t even know himself what he was asking for. It ripped at his heart anyway.

 

“I can find you another alpha,” Lucius said even though it was the last thing he wanted, “a woman if you like. After we’ve bonded it can only be me being with you during heats, but until then anyone can do. As it stands you can pass your first heat with an alpha who swears on his or her life not to bond with you. I’ll add protective charms for you, so they can’t bite you. Maybe that would make it easier for you, to not have to do this with me for the first time?”

 

Harry struggled out from underneath him, eyes wide. “Really?” he asked and sounded so hopeful and Lucius pushed down the grief that welled up in him.

 

“Yes,” he said as cool as polished stone. The only way to get through this now was to lock all tenderness away; the only important thing now was for Harry to emerge from this heat unscathed. “I would prefer having a say in who it is though. It must be someone I can allow in my home, someone I can allow to – touch you.”

 

Harry seemed to think; his arousal had gone down, and Lucius wanted to roll his eyes at every romance novel painting heat as a singular process that had a clearly marked start and finish with the omegas and their mates involved losing all rational thought. The truth was a lot more complicated.

 

“I don’t know,” Harry said. “I’m not – I haven’t been seeing someone prior to this whole – thing.”

 

“Someone from Gryffindor, maybe,” Lucius said, “I am sure many there would like to help you out.”

 

“Would it be weird to ask Hermione?” Harry asked. “I mean, she’s my best friend and I trust her – but she is my best friend.”

 

“She’s an alpha?” Lucius said, and Harry nodded his head. “She’s a bit older than me,” he said, blushing again.  

 

It probably had been pointed out to him that he had presented early, Lucius thought and didn’t volunteer that he himself had done so even earlier. Luckily alphas only went in one rut directly after presenting and could then easily regulate if they wanted ruts to happen or not; the particular memory still hurt deep in his chest and Lucius hadn’t had a rut since.

 

“I think it’s a good enough start,” Lucius said and got up decisively. A fucking mudblood; he should have known it would come to this. “I’m going to contact Severus. I would appreciate it if you could accommodate me by allowing him to take over the arrangements.”

 

Harry nodded eagerly, and Lucius nodded back at him and went and firecalled Severus.

 

Severus listened in silence. “Are you sure?” he asked in the end and Lucius tsked at him, already unnerved. “If you think I’ll enjoy raping an unwilling 15-year-old,” he started to say but Severus interrupted him.

 

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, “and you know it.” Lucius shook his head and Severus signed off.

 

They waited for half an hour. Harry was rubbing his stomach and Lucius ached to take over for him, to rub the cramps out with his fingers. His cock would do the trick; Harry wouldn’t feel the cramps while he was fucked even though his slick would continue to wet him for Lucius. It wasn’t the same with a woman; as the male omega, the cramps would still go strong while Harry fucked Hermione, while he squirted useless slick. Lucius debated telling Harry about it but decided against it; he remembered Regulus that one time when Lucius could only get to him after two days, when Regulus cramps and impending heat craze had been so bad that he had cried and whimpered, skin on his stomach so hot and tight that Lucius had truly worried for him. That heat had been a disaster; Regulus cramped and didn’t produce enough slick, kept begging for his true Alpha, kept begging Lucius to stop, only to beg him to fuck him a second later. He had been clenched so tight that Lucius had trouble keeping up any kind of rhythm and when he finally knotted him, Regulus had thrown up from the pain of the cramps.

 

 _Not a thing to tell your first-time omega,_ Lucius thought with the usual sad pang he felt for Regulus. _Precious and praised my ass_ , Lucius thought; he truly hated what female omegas had been reduced to in the last years and he would do everything in his power that Harry would know as little as possible about it until the bond had settled. The effects of anti-female omega policies and prejudices had long settled on male omegas too; they were too rare though to generate much attention of their treatment.

 

“I thought male omegas needed a male alpha to get out of their heat?” Harry asked timidly. Lucius smiled at him and hoped that Harry couldn’t see the strain underneath it.

 

“Only if you are fully bonded with a male alpha,” Lucius answered, “in that case only your alpha or another male alpha your alpha has given you to can end your heat. As long as you remain unbonded, you can spend it with anyone. If your true alpha was a woman, none of this would apply either, though I know that some male omegas bonded to female alphas prefer it if their alpha invites another male alpha to their bed during heat. It’s – more pleasurable. Male omegas are kind of built for anal sex.”

 

Harry flushed, and Lucius was relieved that he hadn’t said _made to fuck_ because he guessed that it would have made Harry even more uncomfortable.

 

“When will the cramps stop?” Harry said, and Lucius wished he hadn’t asked.

 

“They won’t when you spent your heat with a female alpha,” he said as kindly as he could. “You need to have anal sex for them to stop.”

 

“Oh,” Harry mumbled and looked away.

 

 Severus sent them a message that Granger would be with them within the hour. Harry appeared to be relieved and Lucius refused to regret that decision even though it gnawed at him.

 

“When Hermione comes here, she will find it very hard to keep her hands off you,” Lucius said, “I expect you to obey her and please her. If she hurts you or forces you to do something you don’t like I will know and I will not stand by. Usually I would stay in the room with you, but I will lock myself in my office to give you some privacy.”

 

“She won’t hurt me,” Harry whispered, “she’s my friend.”

 

“Sweetheart,” Lucius said. He couldn’t really believe how uninformed people were. Or had they misinformed Harry on purpose? Lucius knew that Malfoys had always had more omegas in their families than anyone else; he knew that he was one of very few alphas he knew who had ever spend heats with omegas but how could no one in their right mind be interested in learning about alpha-omega-bonds? How the most magical of all genders had been reduced to what they were now in the UK – it was beyond him.

 

“There was a reason that it was Lupin who brought you to me as soon as your pheromones started to release,” he continued, watching Harry, “no alpha except for me can control themselves around you right now. If I was to invite Sirius over now, he would try to mate with you. The same goes for Dumbledore or Ronald or even Molly Weasley. I can control myself because I am your true alpha and historically, I needed to be able to defend us against competitors while we mated which is why alphas with true bonds developed control over time. Unbonded alphas can of course also learn to control their urges and how to not hurt an omega, but the will to mate with one in heat, no matter the cost, that doesn’t just go away. They might be able to control themselves once they are inside you or you inside them, but until then, they will do anything to fuck you. Sorry to be blunt about it, but I would prefer it if you knew the truth.”

 

“Oh,” Harry said again, eyes filling with tears. He blinked and looked away from Lucius, fingers digging in hard in his stomach.

 

“I will lock myself in my study,” Lucius announced. “Please tell her that – if you need nourishments or drinks, she can call for Tinny and have her bring you whatever to desire. Elves are not affected by your hormones. She should take a contraceptive potion as well; I’ll leave one in the bedroom. The only thing she cannot do is to try and bite you. I would know and I – it would immediately be very dangerous for all of us within my home. I would not be able to control myself. That’s something you have to tell her. My spells will make it impossible for her to go through with it – but I would still know.”

 

“Okay,” Harry said.

 

“As long as the bond is not completed, you will only feel some discomfort being touched by other Alphas and not me during your heat, not outright pain and distaste,” Lucius said very quietly. “You’ll be fine otherwise. It probably wasn’t mentioned because – I need to permit it and one might have thought I wouldn’t give permission to you spending your first heat with another alpha.”

 

“Lucius?” Harry said, and he sounded hesitant and quiet.

 

“Harry?” Lucius parroted in a similar tone and waited.

 

“I’m not sure – I’m not sure I want her to touch me,” Harry said. “I’m not – it doesn’t feel right.”

 

“Do you want me to call again?” Lucius asked quietly.

 

Harry thought for a moment, before shaking his head.

 

“You couldn’t be with us?” he asked pitifully.

 

“Not until we are fully bonded,” Lucius said, “my control is good but not good enough for that. I’m sorry Harry.”

 

Harry nodded, and Lucius nodded and then he went to his office and warded it.

 

Then he sank down against the door and heaved in a few big, gulping breaths.

 

He had had his fair experience with heartbreak; let that be another lesson against hope, he thought.

 

“Lucius,” Harry called from the living room. Lucius sighed and let his head thump against the door for a moment.

 

“Harry?” he called back and didn’t open the door.

 

For a moment there was silence and then Harry cried “Lucius,” in such a distressed voice that Lucius was up so fast he stumbled. “Lucius,” Harry said again and then in the most pitiful tone ever, “alpha, please, _alpha –“_

 

“What is it?” Lucius asked and run his hands over him, before cupping his face in his hands, “are you hurt? What happened Harry?”

 

“Please,” Harry gasped, “please, don’t give me away, please, I don’t –“

 

“Shh,” Lucius said and tugged him in. He was wetter than he had been; his dick was half-stiff. Maybe Lucius had underestimated their preliminary bond after all. “Shh, I’m not giving you away. Harry, never. I thought you wanted someone else to –“

 

Harry moaned against him, the sound pure frustration.

 

“I don’t know,” he cried, “I thought about touching her and it wasn’t _right_ and I got so scared you wouldn’t _want_ me and –“

 

“Shh,” Lucius repeated and fuck it all.

 

He tugged Harry over to the floo and firecalled Severus again, telling him in clipped tones to tell Granger off from coming.  

 

He lifted Harry up easily then and brought him to the bedroom, laid him out underneath Lucius. He lifted back up to take off his own shirt, before taking off his pants. He moved above Harry then who was watching him wide-eyed and kissed him deeply, before moving down his neck and chest towards his nipples.

 

He was rewarding with the first of hopefully many high-pitched squeals. Harry promptly looked terrified again, but Lucius was already on his other nipple while cupping him through the sweatpants he was still wearing.

 

Harry’s back arched in response.

 

“Can I take off your pants?” Lucius asked, and Harry nodded, eyes unsure and scared on Lucius’ face. “I’ve got you,” Lucius promised again; it did nothing to reassure Harry, but Lucius proceeded anyway.

 

Harry’s shorts were completely soaked through.

 

“You poor thing,” Lucius said, “you must be uncomfortable my sweetheart.”

 

“I’m so horny,” Harry said and looked ashamed and Lucius kissed down the trail of hair from his belly button. He was relieved to see that Harry was already a lot hairier than he had dared to hope; it felt a little less like molesting a child now. His chest was still fairly narrow as were his hips and Lucius didn’t even want to think about doing what they were about to do if Harry’s body wasn’t opening up for him.

 

“That’s sort of the point,” Lucius said and hooked a finger underneath Harry’s shorts. Harry moaned and turned his head away from him, face, neck and chest going beet red again.

 

 _You’re so pretty_ , Lucius thought and didn’t say it out loud.

 

“Talk to me,” he said instead and watched the red splotches on Harry’s face intensify.

 

“I’m not –“ Harry started and heaved in a breath, moaning when Lucius pulled a little more on his shorts.

 

“Big,” Harry finished and god, Lucius was already completely losing his mind over him. How anyone could be so endearingly cute was beyond him; Lucius didn’t even _like_ cute.

 

“I’m sure you’re just perfect,” he said but Harry still looked unhappy, so Lucius let go off his briefs.

 

“I don’t care,” he added, “but if size is an issue for you, maybe I go first, and you look your fill?” He stripped his underwear away quickly after that and Harry immediately zeroed in on Lucius’ cock, the scent of aroused omega picking up another notch.

 

Lucius had been with an omega before and nothing compared to the smell of Harry. It was intoxicating; it was quickly going in a direction where Lucius would have a hard time stopping himself from – anything. Everything.

 

“That’s – bigger,” Harry stated but with a lot less apprehension than Lucius had feared.

 

“Come here,” he said, overcome again with tenderness and kissed Harry, sucked his tongue into his mouth and bit his lips. Harry moaned underneath him, legs falling open; he squirted another load of slick, but Lucius didn’t give him time to be embarrassed about it, just kept kissing him.

 

“I would say, a bit above average,” Lucius said, “nothing to complain about, nothing to brag about. Size isn’t all that matters, Harry.”

 

“I don’t like how tiny I look next to you,” Harry said, “it’s such a cliché to look like this when you’re an omega and –“

 

“That’s just nonsense,” Lucius interrupted, “you’re not even fully grown. Stop beating yourself up about these things.”

 

“I’m so fucking horny,” Harry repeated, and Lucius put his hands on his briefs, waited until Harry nodded and stripped him. His cock was dark red and fully erect now and it was indeed not the biggest thing Lucius had ever seen, but perfectly adequate for Harry’s overall size.

 

“You’re beautiful,” he said and watched the full body shudder the words triggered with interest.

 

“Lucius,” Harry whined, and Lucius leaned down decisively, pressed Harry’s legs up and licked a long stripe from his balls to his ass before pressing his tongue in to taste him. He tasted – Lucius had no words to describe it.

 

Above him, Harry’s whole body went taut, and he hung in limbo for a second, before coming, so hard that Lucius pressed a hand down on his belly to steady him.

 

 _To be young again_ , he thought a little wistfully and kissed Harry’s slack mouth before settling in between his legs.

 

“Fuck,” Harry said, “fuck. Fuck. That felt so – fuck.”

 

“And to think it was just the start,” Lucius said, gently teasing him and Harry’s eyes snapped to his, pupils blown with arousal and want. _There you go,_ Lucius thought and allowed himself just a tiny bit of relief.

 

“Please,” Harry begged, “I need you to – do that again or maybe – use your fingers – I need – I’m so fucking - _horny_ right now and I –“

 

“Shh,” Lucius said and leaned down to blow him. Harry whimpered above him when Lucius took his wet cockhead in his mouth, swirled his tongue along the veins lining the shaft. He was pleased to note that Harry was uncut and played a little with his frenulum, put particular attention there and on his urethra. Harry moaned and shook above him, slick squirting out of with him with every lick and bob of Lucius’ tongue. _God,_ Lucius thought; his own cock was so hard he was half afraid to start a knot when he was nowhere near inside Harry.

 

He had never done this with Regulus; Regulus had been fully focused on his ass, had not been interested in any attention on his cock at all. “Fill me,” he would beg, “fuck me, fill me up, I need more, I need it harder, knot me,” and Lucius had complied, had fucked and fucked him until he was as sweaty as Regulus, all muscles straining.

 

But Harry was a virgin and Lucius knew a thing or two about getting fucked and having your dick sucked and he had no doubts that it was better for Harry if he took it slower, gave him other pleasures that didn’t involve ass fucking. Getting sucked was whole lot less scary than getting rimmed.

 

Harry’s moans and gasps and cries and whimpers were shameless now and he writhed underneath Lucius. Lucius let go off his cock with a pop, leaned up briefly to kiss Harry again. This wouldn’t be a mindless rut and fuck; Lucius was determined to make it good even if Harry was unlikely to fully appreciate the effort in the heat of the moment.

 

“I need you to fuck me,” Harry was saying, blabbering now and Lucius took him in his hand and stroked him slowly. “I need to be filled, I need to be claimed, please hold me down and fuck me, please fill me up, Lucius, alpha, please, please –“

 

“Shh,” Lucius said, “my perfect little thing, we’ll do all that. Can I rim you first Harry? Finger you open?” Harry nodded hastily, whispering _anything, anything_ and Lucius slid down and put his mouth to work.

 

He quickly lost count how many times Harry had already come, but he noted with pleasure how Harry gripped his feet and bent his legs up, opening up for his alpha.

 

After Lucius was sure that Harry was more than ready for him, he leaned back up, searching for Harry’s pulse point on his neck. Harry moaned and trashed underneath him, pushing his throat up and Lucius sucked the sensitive spot where he would bite, sucked it and teased it with his tongue and teeth while Harry went crazy underneath him, chanting _alpha, alpha, alpha._

 

“I’m going to bite you,” Lucius said, and Harry cried out in agreement and Lucius was sure to break the skin as softly as possible.

 

The bond formed immediately; all Harry wanted now was to submit to him and Lucius didn’t have an ounce of self-restraint left to not allow him to do it.

 

“On top of me,” he said, and Harry scrambled up as quickly as he could, legs and arms made uncoordinated with the lust thrumming through his veins, “fuck yourself on me. Take whatever you need my sweetheart, fuck yourself however hard you want. Take your time, just –“

 

He didn’t get any further; Harry was on top of him and took his cock in one long, smooth movement.

 

“Fuck,” he said and for a moment he was shocked out of the burning itching inside of him.

 

“Relax,” Lucius said, “give yourself a moment. You’re doing so well. You please me so much. If it’s too much ease off and we try again.”

 

“Lucius,” Harry said, unsure and then his eyes filled with tears. Not shame this time; the thought of not pleasing his Alpha was forcing the tears out.

 

Lucius pulled out of him, grabbed Harry and pushed at him until he could wrap him in his arms, Lucius’ chest to Harry’s back.

 

“You’re pleasing me beyond anything I have ever known,” Lucius whispered to him, reaching down a hand to tease him open again, “you’re doing so wonderfully for me. Open up my sweetheart. Slow and steady.”

 

“I need to get fucked,” Harry said. Sweat was breaking out all over his body and Lucius could tell that they were quickly nearing heat craze, a dangerous condition when an omega remained without knotting for too long.

 

Harry moaned and it wasn’t pleasure; it was another cramp and his hole released more slick and Harry moaned again in discomfort.

 

“Shh,” he said and pushed into Harry, slow and steady, all the while kissing his neck and shoulders. “Oh my god,” Harry groaned, and Lucius could feel how good it felt to him, how perfect it was to be opened up and filled, how much Harry craved his cock and he sent his own pleasure through the link in response. Harry promptly came again, and Lucius picked up speed, searched for the spot he knew he would eventually find. When he did, Harry’s toes curled, and he felt Harry’s shocked surprise through the bond, how fucking good it felt to him to have his hole drilled like that.

 

“More,” Harry begged, “give me more, I need more, harder, please, alpha, _alpha –“_

 

“I’m going to knot you,” Lucius warned when he could feel his prick starting to swell in response to his mate’s begging, “you’re going to be so full my love, you’re going to feel so good –“

 

“Please, please, please, please, fuck me harder, it’s not enough, I’m so _empty -_ ” Harry begged, and Lucius did and when they were knotted he groaned, and bit Harry’s pulse point again, grinding himself as deep as he could. The pressure around his dick was incredible and he spurted in deep and _Merlin_ , he suddenly wasn’t sure if he himself would survive a younger mate.

 

Harry had come again when Lucius had but now he was squirming, crying out with every drag of Lucius’ knot inside him. It wasn’t a sound of pleasure and Lucius quickly stilled him by wrapping him fully in his arms, holding him close, rubbing his hand over his belly.

 

“Don’t move around so much,” he said, “it will go down in 20 minutes. Take the moment to rest, baby. We’ll be doing this a lot more often.”

 

“It’s fucking huge,” Harry said and there were tears in his voice and Lucius willed himself to get smaller again but without much effect. “It’s rubbing everywhere – it’s – it’s too much, please –“

 

“Shh,” Lucius said and reached down to take Harry’s flagging erection in hand, gently started to stroke him up and down. “You need to relax. Just accept it. It’s my knot filling you up – it pleases me so much how good you are in taking it.”

 

Harry groaned at that and went limp and the bond thrummed with his need to please Lucius. Lucius kissed him again, continued moving his hand, continued to heave praise on him and not long after, Harry was rocking back on his knot and coming again before dropping off to sleep.

 

Lucius didn’t rest, not yet, buried his nose instead in Harry’s hair, breathing him in. _I’m so happy_ , he thought, and it was a strange thought, for him, and he fell asleep still contemplating it.

 

When he woke back up, Harry winced when Lucius slipped out of him.

 

“We have a few hours before the next wave,” Lucius said, “come and shower with me and let me apply a healing salve. If you chafe it’s going to be a lot harder for both of us.”

 

“Do Muggles also have salves?” Harry asked, and Lucius wanted to scream in frustration.

 

“Love, there are no male Muggle omegas,” he said, “male omegas are pure magic.”

 

“Oh,” Harry said again. He was silent when Lucius run the water over him, when Lucius reached out to lather up his hair.

 

“I didn’t know about male omegas at all,” Harry said very quietly, “until I had my bonding dream and woke up with all that – slick. And that ache. And then Dumbledore said that he was so sorry about was happening to me and I should try not to lose my self-respect when I was – in heat. That I should never forget that me behaving like a bitch in heat was just – hormones. That I could live a normal life if I didn’t let it define me. That he only knew debased omegas but that I could be better; that there were countries where omegas lived relatively normal.”

 

“Your heat is a gift,” Lucius said, “and it’s a two-way process. You only have a heat because I exist. If alphas think that heats are events apart from them, they are wrong. You don’t act like a bitch in heat. It’s alphas who might subjugate omegas, who might debase them and if that happens it’s true that an omega in heat has no power to stop then because your hormones won’t allow it. They only protection omegas have is to be bonded to an alpha knowing them and cherishing them and protecting them against lesser alphas. Which is why it is – unthinkable for me to hurt you. I don’t think I could if I tried. The thought of hurting you makes me physically sick and this doesn’t happen in heats outside of bonds, with female omegas for example. Unfortunately, Britain has seen so little male omegas that this knowledge is not a part of canon any longer. Female omegas are almost always muggle-borns or half-bloods. You can guess how nicely prejudices about omegas tied in with our current political rhetoric.”

 

“If you like omegas so much why did you follow Voldemort?” Harry asked and looked promptly horrified at having asked that, nervousness churning through the bond. Lucius smiled.

 

“Case in point, Harry,” he said amused, “or do you think that Dumbledore thought you could ask me that? I didn’t follow him voluntary the first time around. And then I couldn’t find a way out. There were people following him that I loved and wanted to protect. That’s not to say that I don’t agree with some of his assumptions; I agree that wizards and witches should hold higher positions in all societies simply because I do believe them to be more capable. Malfoys have always had mixed blood though. I am not dumb enough to deny it, nor do I want to. I believe mixing our blood while upholding much of pureblood tradition that is still closely tied to the wild magic Merlin gave us, has allowed my family to have a higher than normal percentage of male omegas. My grandfather was one. And at that time already rare. I know of no other living bonded male omega in our society right now. There’s one in Austria that once belonged to us, but his alpha cast him away thinking that he was broken when it was both of them.”

 

“How did he send him away?” Harry asked. “I thought I needed to be with you regularly even if we decide not to live together? At least for the heat.”

 

“He broke the bond,” Lucius said, “leaving his omega with a phantom ache that will never go away. If an alpha breaks a true bond the omega nor the alpha can ever bond again, are forever destined to live with the shadows of what once was.”

 

The bond thrummed with anxiety and Lucius reached out and rinsed Harry’s hair before bringing him back in his arms.

 

“You feel my sincerity?” he asked, and Harry nodded. “Our bond will not break until death. I promise you that. Nobody will take you from me.”

 

“Lucius,” Harry moaned, and his stomach cramped and released another load of slick and Lucius only applied the healing salve an hour later after that.

 

Harry’s heat was unexpectedly long, but then, Lucius mused while Harry slept on top of him, ass tied to Lucius’ knot, he should probably have expected the unexpected from Harry. He had given him his cock over and over, fucking Harry hard and soft and quick and slow. His favorite position was when Harry slammed down on top of him, so gone in his pleasure that all he was thinking about was Lucius’ cock; Harry loved it when Lucius stood up and held him, fucked him impossibly deep that way.

 

They yet had to talk about much of it, but Harry’s heat had only broken early in the morning on the sixth day of their fucking and with the break in needing to be bred and filled, the exhaustion had come. Lucius had fucked him once more when Harry had whimpering _I’m so empty, please take me, I’m so empty,_ until Lucius knotted them again against his better judgement.

 

“That was the last time,” he warned when Harry woke up and Lucius’ cock slipped out of him.

 

“Lucius,” Harry whined, but both of them knew it to be true; Lucius wasn’t sure his dick wouldn’t fall off if they did it again.

 

Harry slid down from Lucius, but cuddled up against his shoulder, reaching a tentative hand out to link their fingers on Lucius’ chest.

 

“How are you?” Lucius asked quietly and casted wandlessly for the water bottle to fly over to them before handing it to Harry who busied himself with drinking before answering.

  
“Sore,” Harry said, “hungry and tired. Shagged out. Pretty happy. Kind of icky.”

 

“Hmm,” Lucius said and dragged himself up before offering his hand to Harry. “Let’s have a bath.”

 

“Lucius,” Harry said, not taking the hand. There was a horrible, trembling slant to his mouth, Lucius didn’t like one bit and the bond was quivering, just a little, too.

 

“Yes?” Lucius asked and refused to sound nervous.

 

“I don’t want it to end,” Harry said and then he was crying and reaching out for Lucius and Lucius rounded the bed so fast he almost tripped himself. “Shh,” he said once he had Harry in his arms; he could only hope that his reactions to his omega’s distress would tone down or he was in for serious trouble.

 

“We’ve bonded,” Lucius said, “Harry, it can’t end now. There’s no way to break our bond, there’s no way to –“

 

“They’re going to take me from you,” Harry cried, “or Voldemort finds out and kills you and I –“

 

“Shh,” Lucius repeated, “we’re going to sit down and discuss all of this. My allegiance with – Voldemort – has ended, Harry. And he’s not getting either of us, okay?”

 

“I didn’t know I would feel this way,” Harry said, “it’s – overwhelming, to think that I have to be by – myself. I need you. Please tell me that I’m yours. Please, I need to know if –“

 

“Shh, none of that,” Lucius said, “you are. You are forever. It’s a completely normal and instinctive reaction to the bond. I’m very much an alpha right now and you are very much in the omega mindset right now, but it will tone down. You’re still your own person.”

 

“No,” Harry sobbed, “I don’t want to be, I want to be yours, I –“

 

“Merlin, Harry, calm down,” Lucius said more forcefully, and Harry promptly bid his lip hard enough to draw blood. Lucius sighed and send a gentle warning through the bond and Harry let go off his lip immediately, fighting to hold in the tears. Lucius cupped his face.

 

“You’re wanted,” he said, because the insecurity was screaming through the bond and Lucius hated it. “Wanted beyond anything. I’m not going to cast you out, ever. I have every single legal right to have you – and while I’m not happy with your official status, I am happy to have that protection. I’ll throw my influence and my money behind accepting that Voldemort is back. We’ll defeat him and the day you turn 17 we can get married and your legal standing will be a bit better. And I will not forsake you in the meantime. They can’t take you from me and they know it. You don’t worry about it, please.”

 

“I couldn’t bear it,” Harry said, “I need you, I can’t be without you, I –“

 

“Shh,” Lucius said again, “take a bath with me. Have dinner with me. You’re staying the night and tomorrow we are going to see Sirius. And it will be _fine._ ”

 

“What about Draco?” Harry said miserably, and Lucius gently tugged at his hair, stroked it back from his face.

 

“You do realize that you have a curl pattern and all you need to do is take care of it and your hair will look gorgeous, yes?” he said distractedly until Harry tugged at his hand insistently.

 

“Draco was raised in the firm believe that being gifted an omega-alpha-bond was the greatest joy to receive,” he said, “Draco would cherish and praise and value and take care of his own omega, if he is fortunate to have one. Draco will likely – struggle a bit with the fact that it’s you. But he’ll respect our bond. I don’t expect you to get along just because of it. I told you that I wouldn’t be comfortable putting much of any restraints on your behavior. If the two of you want to talk it out and become best friends – I would be happy about it. But as long as you’re civil, I don’t expect anything else from you.”

 

“What if he follows Voldemort?” Harry said, worrying his lip with his teeth.

 

“Oh my darling,” Lucius said and wrapped him back into his arms, resting his cheek on Harry’s hair, “oh my darling, it’s not fair to you at all to say it, but he’s only 15. He’ll do what I’ll tell him. Between his mother and me, he will take my advice. He’s just – a kid Harry. I’m sorry the same doesn’t apply to you.”

 

“That’s okay,” Harry said, relaxing against Lucius, “I don’t want you to think of me as – a child.”

 

Lucius shuddered. “And neither do I,” he said and tried not to shudder again at the thought, “but you – are not an adult, Harry. I won’t expect from you to behave like one.”

 

“Mh,” Harry mumbled, and Lucius picked him up and carried him to the bathtub, not disturbing his drowsiness.

 

\--

 

Harry’s hand shook in his when they made it to the Burrow. Lucius had no illusion that Sirius wasn’t living there but he hadn’t asked. He didn’t expect to be let in on the secrets of the alleged Order of the Phoenix and he didn’t mind; if anything, he wanted to see if he could carve out something for Harry and him that was neither Voldemort’s nor Dumbledore’s path.

 

There was the prophecy of course; and the longer Lucius had thought about it now, the more questions came to mind. Questions about Harry’s scar and how Voldemort had survived the backfiring of the killing curse. Questions about Regulus that Lucius had long held, ever since helping Regulus through his heats before he had died. Questions about that blasted diary; he shouldn’t have given it to Ginny Weasley. Some of the decisions he had made, individually, without being forced – they were hard to live with in retrospect.

 

Next to him, Harry shrank even more against Lucius when he had pressed the bell. Lucius looked down at him, at his beloved face and ached at the fear he saw there.

 

They had started to briefly explore what the bond could do yesterday, but they had both been too tired to do much with it. For now, they only shared surface thoughts and feelings; Harry had not yet figured out how to direct his thoughts at Lucius and Lucius had started to shield against getting too much. Harry was an open book to him otherwise and that – didn’t feel good, felt like violating trust Lucius hadn’t earned but still got now, thanks to genetics and the wild magic that had made them into alphas, betas and omegas centuries ago.

 

“It will be fine,” Lucius told Harry calmly when the door burst open and Hermione Granger wrapped herself around her best friend.

 

Lucius had always been an alpha fully in control of his instincts and he was thankful that being freshly bonded to an omega hadn’t changed that. Harry on the other hand, took a desperate step back, pushed at Granger and turned tearful eyes up to Lucius.

 

“I didn’t mean to –“ he started to say; behind Granger a rather big group of people had formed. Sirius stood in first row, looking resigned.

 

“None of that,” Lucius said quietly, knowing full well that they all watched him. “You decide if you want to be touched or not. If not, you talk to your friends about it. It’s not a big deal, Harry.”

 

Harry still continued clinging to his arm and hand with both of his hands now.

 

“You’re bonded then,” Sirius said and Lucius gently tugged Harry inside. The Burrow was as distastefully crowded as it had been the last time he had visited before Harry’s heat. _How can it be so messy_ , Lucius thought and sighed internally.

 

“Did you think we wouldn’t be after spending a heat together?” he drawled sarcastically because the question annoyed him to no end.

 

“Maybe I hoped you would put it off until he turns 17,” Sirius spat, and Harry shrank even more against Lucius. It didn’t escape anyone’s notice; the faces of everyone but Remus Lupin turned a few degrees more hostile.

 

“That’s not possible,” Harry said, and his voice trembled, and Lucius wanted to tug him up and away immediately.

 

“Harry,” Lucius said as gently as he dared without losing all of his credibility with these people, “maybe ask Mrs. Weasley for a tea. Strong, please.”

 

“Of course,” Molly said and didn’t move.

 

“And let go off my arm, love,” Lucius said, “or we can’t even take off our outer coats.”

 

“Rub it in, why don’t you,” Sirius said angrily in response to the nickname and moved forward towards Harry. Lucius wasn’t sure what he wanted to do – touch him maybe or take his coat – but Harry hid behind Lucius, trembling fully now.

 

“Lucius,” he said and there was so much fear in his voice that Lucius couldn’t help but step in between them.

 

“Do you have him under Imperius?” Sirius barked, and Lucius pushed forward, right into his space.

 

“He’s a newly bonded omega,” he said, voice deadly quiet, “he is scared out of his mind that you in particular won’t accept his bond. He’s struggling with the effects of shameless breeding of omegas for centuries, reducing them to be nothing more than sex objects and pleasure things.  His former natural instincts, the reasons omegas became cherished in the first place are messed up with new traits that omegas should have never had to deal with. He needs a few more weeks in which people exclusively refer to me when addressing him, allowing me to deal with everyone for him. He knew that not coming here today would only spell trouble. For someone who had an omega brother you are very much not sympathetic to what he is going through right now. I do _not_ want him to become a wimpy omega who feels unsure about every decision he has to take without his alpha but that’s the direction you’re pushing him in if you can’t except his boundaries and if he needs me to enforce them for him.”

 

Sirius stood still; behind him the wolf came closer, clearly with the intent of separating them.

 

“Regulas was exactly the kind of wimpy omega you are talking about,” Sirius said, “and if I’m not mistaken it was exactly _you_ who used to help him out with his heats.”

 

“Your family denied him his true alpha and wanted to force another politically more suitable bond on him, driving him directly to puniness and in Voldemort’s arms,” Lucius said icily, “and he still managed to do – things I believe to be invaluable in the near future. To have your bondmate ripped away the way it was done to him and to not die with it – show his memory some respect for that at least. And read up on omegas, Black. What Dumbledore tells you, what your father used to say; that’s far from the truth.”

 

“How would you know?” Sirius said, but Lucius could tell that he wasn’t as confrontative any more.

 

“My family line is literally as old as yours,” Lucius said, “and I know it’s hard to believe given on where we’ve been standing politically in the last few years, but I have always considered the Malfoys to be more liberal. We have never denied our half-blood heritage. And we have always followed history as it is true, not rewriting it to our whims. I have learnt about omegas since I was a little boy. My grandfather was one. We’ve had multiple omegas in our family and we researched them and the potential of alpha-omega-bonds. A powerful bond could always topple and rebuild societies. Why do you think omegas were policed the way they were? Why do you think attempts were made to disfigure their natural genes? We stood against those policies just as we once stood against the statue of secrecy. Omega laws as they are now are distasteful, and I won’t live by them and Harry will never live by them either. That’s not to say he doesn’t have instinctive needs right now, that you need to respect or you’re forcing him into a subjugate role no one here wants for him. He needs to deal with the unwanted omega instincts before he can learn about the wanted ones.”

 

Sirius looked at him and then he looked around him at Harry, who was gripping Lucius’ coat with two fists. Harry tried to face his godfather and Lucius could tell what it cost him and so he reached around and brought him next to him again, firmly wrapped in Lucius’ arm.

 

“How are you Harry?” Sirius said calmly, and Harry shrugged, eyes flicking up to Lucius who nodded at him.

 

“Okay,” he mumbled, “tired. A bit scared about – what you’re going to say.”

 

Sirius rubbed a hand harshly over his face at that.

 

“Let’s move into the living room,” Arthur said, “and have some tea. Lucius, why don’t you take the armchair with Harry?”

 

“Thank you,” Lucius said politely and took Harry’s coat off him and handed it to Arthur before marching Harry over to the chair, forcing him gently on it, before taking a seat himself on the chair’s wide arms, crossing one ankle over his knee to balance himself out. Harry immediately hurried to push himself in the corner of the chair Lucius body half-blocked and Lucius noted that with dismay but didn’t comment on it.

 

“What do you need from us right now, Harry?” Remus Lupin asked when they were all seated; Lucius had declined tea and had given Harry his.

 

Harry’s eyes immediately jumped up to Lucius at the question before skittering away again. He fidgeted, and Lucius took pity rather quickly.

 

“For all of you to address me if you ask him about what he wants or needs,” he said, “for the time being. He’s – very scared right now of disobeying me and I cannot take that fear away. It’s habituative; it used to guarantee an omega his alpha’s favor and it’s not as easy as me saying that he’s in no danger of being cast away. It will get better with time, but he is – deferring to me for now.”

 

Remus listened to him attentively though his face was rather blank. Sirius looked unhappy and angry. The Weasleys looked mostly uncomfortable and Granger and Weasley junior – Hermione and Ron, Lucius corrected himself sharply, looked pitiful. Next to him, Harry’s unhappiness was a palpable thing for Lucius now and he hated it.

 

“Er,” Remus said, “Lucius, what does – Harry need right now?”

 

“Tell them, Harry,” Lucius said, a lot more gently than he intended. He refused to be embarrassed about it; he was supposed to be besotted with his omega and he would damn well be.

 

“I don’t know,” Harry said very quietly, not looking at anyone. “I need – Lucius to be around me or I feel as if I’m – going to die. I need you to respect that he is – my alpha. I need – I need – to be good for him and –“

 

“Shh,” Lucius found himself saying yet again and allowed Harry to hide his face and his tears against his hip, stroked gently through his hair. “You are, Harry. The feeling will pass soon enough. You’re mostly unsure because of our – history. Once we have resolved those issues, you won’t be so scared anymore because you’ll realize that no one is taking you from me.” Harry nodded against him but didn’t lift his head and when Lucius looked up, Arthur’s and Molly’s faces were a lot kinder than a moment ago.

 

Lupin was watching Sirius and the truth was so obvious that Lucius wanted to shake his head at him. Pronouncing to the world how much another human being meant to you when you were on a most wanted list – what a cowardly mistake.

 

“You called him Voldemort,” Sirius said, “earlier. Are you switching sides?”

 

“No,” Lucius said. Harry twitched against him.

 

The air changed immediately with Lucius’ words; he knew that six people had just grabbed their wands in their pockets.

 

“I’m aligning myself with Harry,” Lucius continued, in as bored of a tone as he could manage, “which naturally de-aligns me from the man willing to kill him. I do not believe however that there are no other people willing to – sacrifice Harry. For the greater good, you might say.”

 

“Albus would never –“ Molly said hotly but Lucius interrupted her immediately.

 

“If he wouldn’t,” he said, “then why hasn’t he shared the fact with you that he knows Harry’s full prophecy? There are other things I am sure – he suspects. As do I. The solutions we draw though – they can never be aligned. My omega will not be slaughtered. Nor will he any longer be groomed to be slaughtered.”

 

“Lucius,” Arthur said carefully, and Lucius shook his head at him.

 

“I’m not aligning us with him,” he repeated, “but I’m not saying that I – might have information Dumbledore is lacking. He might be doing the best he can do under the circumstances. We should very well – talk. But if he remains on his path – I can never agree with that.”

 

“That’s horrible ambiguous,” Sirius said, “also your _omega_ looks as if he is about to faint. He has a name, you know?”

 

“It’s a bit much for him,” Lucius said and stroked his hand over Harry’s head again, “you’ve seen him Sirius. He’s well and as fine as he can be. Christmas break ends in three days and I will – assess then if I believe him able to return to Hogwarts.”

 

“What the fuck?” Sirius said, “he’s coming back with me. That was our agreement. You promised to –“

 

“I promised to leave it open to him to return to you,” Lucius said icily, “and he is not yet in his right mind again to make any kind of decisions. He stays with me for the time being. I can assure you that I hold zero intentions to forsake him his education or his family. Once he is out of this – phase, he can very well decide what to do.”

 

“Please, let me stay with you,” Harry said, words tripping over themselves, “please, I promise I’ll be good. I can do chores – I can –“

 

“No, love,” Lucius said, cupping his cheek, “stop begging me. You’ll always be welcome to stay with me. But we’re not discussing that now. It’s enough for you to know that both Sirius and I will have you when you want us, okay?”

 

“I can do chores,” Harry repeated timidly, eyes already swimming in tears again and Merlin, the books had not been wrong about the torment of emotions omegas went through in the days after their bonding.

 

“You don’t have to,” Lucius said calmly, “I don’t require you to. I just require you to be Harry.”

 

“But –“ Harry said and Lucius shook his head at him before he could go further. Harry clamped his mouth shut, but he still looked deeply unhappy. Lucius looked at him for a moment longer and then got up decisively. This visit was over.

 

Harry struggled up the second he moved, panic flashing in his eyes and Lucius put a hand on his neck immediately, reeled him in for a moment against his throat to allow him to smell and feel him. Harry’s breath hitched against his ear.

 

“Listen, Lucius,” Sirius said, “is it possible that Harry – goes and talks with Ron and Hermione for a moment. And we talk for a moment, too?”

 

“Yes,” Lucius said and pushed Harry carefully over before nodding at Sirius to follow him out of the Burrow. Harry’s distress followed him out.

 

It was unnaturally warm for January, but neither of them pointed it out.

 

“Did it hurt him?” Sirius asked once they were outside and Lucius had to breath in deeply to not immediately start shouting again.

 

“I took it slow,” he said, “if pressed he would probably say that it was terrifying and turned good.”

 

Sirius huffed at that.

 

“Groomed to be slaughtered how?” he asked next and Lucius took a moment to feel the bond.

 

“Feeling unloved, unwanted, unprotected by adults in his life,” he said, more quietly now, “feeling unsure of what he feels and if it has merit. Feeling unsure of how to take care of people or allowing them to take care of him. Feeling his worth as a person tied to his accomplishments. Telling him to love people, to save people without expecting anything in return. Things that will make it easier to – walk towards his death one day.”

 

“Why?” Sirius asked, matching Lucius’ quiet tone.

 

“I can’t tell you yet,” Lucius said, “it’s the kind of thing that – cannot just be told. And it would influence how you treat him. I don’t want that for him.”

 

Sirius harrumphed and they both looked towards the door of the Burrow.

 

“He’s not a kid,” Lucius said, “but he’s also just fifteen. We can’t forget how young he is. He needs protection. Not just of the physical kind. His heart needs protection, too.”

 

“Yeah,” Sirius said, “we go back – longer. I never liked you Lucius but I – like you more now that your father is dead. I will never fully trust you with him, but I guess – I can believe that you won’t intentionally harm him.”

 

“Harming him runs against the very essence of what I believe in,” Lucius said and watched the door open. Harry looked awful, hands wringing his outer coat in a tight stretch. Lucius reached his hand out towards him and Harry stumbled forward, hiding his face underneath Lucius’ armpit.

 

“You are welcome to visit him at my place in London,” Lucius said, “but come alone. Today has not been good for him.”

 

Sirius nodded when Lucius apparated them away.

 

\--

 

Back at home, Lucius ordered a light dinner for them from Tinny, before settling down with a glass of wine on the sofa. Harry quickly made his way over to him, cuddling up and resting his head on Lucius’ chest and Lucius petted his hair for a long moment, quietly thinking.

 

Outside it was storming; inside the warm shine and feel of the fire had put a slight sheen on Harry’s cheekbones and forehead. Lucius took a small sip of his wine and rested it on the adjunct sofa table, before leaning Harry’s head up to kiss him.

 

“There are things we need to talk about and discuss,” he told Harry in a low voice, watched Harry’s pupils dilate, “and I would rather start this now. I still hope you can return with the other students to Hogwarts; not doing so would only result in unwanted attention.”

 

“Hm,” Harry murmured and scrambled up to nose against Lucius’ jaw. Lucius let him for a moment, before cradling him like a baby in his arms, waited for Harry to settle comfortably before speaking again.

 

“The issues I want to discuss can be structured in issues relating to our relationship and issues on how we present it to the world,” Lucius said, “and while I have given both of these things some thought, I would like to hear your input. Let us start with the issues only relating to us.” He stroked some of Harry’s unruly hair out of his face, watched Harry’s green eyes fully focusing on Lucius. He could tell that Harry was hard without having to look.

 

“The bond will likely grow stronger the more we use it,” Lucius said, “I therefore encourage you to use it. I will use it with you. I do not want any – inhibitions on what we share and what we don’t share. The only rule I want to enforce is that I will never pry where I’m not wanted, and I expect the same from you. I will never force my way in, and neither will you.”

 

Harry nodded, wetted his lips. “What can we share through it?”

 

“Everything,” Lucius said, “thoughts, feelings, words, intent. It’s invaluable in its strategic significance. I will never need to look at you to know what you are feeling and the same is true in reverse. Mastering the bond, allowing it to grow and become stronger – that’s my first wish for our future life.”

 

Harry nodded, and Lucius sent approval through the bond and fondness and watched Harry’s eyes blow up in response.

 

“Are you better at it because you’re the alpha?” Harry asked, and Lucius shook his head, a bit amused.

 

“No,” he said, “I’m better at it because I mastered occlumency and I have a decent grasp on legilimency. I’m better at it because I know more magic and I know it differently. With time, you’ll get better and I will, most likely, get better too in response to you. The bond is where why are forever most equal.”

 

Harry nodded, eyes shining, and Lucius pressed a kiss against the tip of his ear.

 

“The next issue I want to discuss is our sex life,” he said and smirked in amusement when Harry squirmed in discomfort. “Really Harry, and everyone thinks purebloods are such prudes,” he teased, and Harry flushed a lovely shade of red.

 

“It’s not –“ he started and worried his lips between his teeth. “It’s not that I’m – prude. Just. Uncomfortable. This is all new and I – the sounds I made –“

 

“Were for me,” Lucius said, “and they pleased me immensely. But that is not what I wanted to talk about. You’ll have a heat roughly every six months. You’re still young and your heats will fluctuate. Some wizards and witches only have them once a year, some roughly every nine months. No matter how often you experience them – I would like this to be the only time during which we are sexually intimate for now.”

 

Harry looked at him, blinked once and then shame flooded through the bond, shame and unease and the desperation that came with thinking he hadn’t pleased his alpha.

 

“None of that,” Lucius said and send love and reassurance. _How very fragile you still are_ , he thought and wrapped Harry close, held him securely while the bond strum with their different emotions. _How very fragile and how impossible for me to keep you that way._

 

“Our heat pleased me beyond words,” Lucius said, “it’s not because of the lack of want. I’m proposing this because I would like you to have some time to – come to terms with everything that has happened. Many things make heat sex physically easier than regular sex. Give yourself some time to educate yourself on safe sex and gay sex and then we’ll revisit the subject once you don’t shudder every time I say the word sex.”

 

“Maybe I shudder because of arousal,” Harry said rebelliously, and Lucius hugged him closer, liking him so much it was almost unbearable.

 

“I’m in your head,” Lucius whispered in his ear, “I can tell why you shudder, and arousal is only one part of it. We can still kiss and touch. I do want us to be physically intimate, just not sexually.”

 

“Hm,” Harry said, but he pressed himself closer, nuzzling against Lucius’ throat.

 

“Everything else,” Lucius said, “we can discuss with time. There are – things I would like you to do as my bondmate. Things that might at one point become expected of you, too. There are things I will need to teach you about my family and my family’s history. But we’ll do it in time.”

 

“Hmm,” Harry said again, and Lucius knew how tired he was.

 

“Anything from your side?” Lucius asked and waited patiently while Harry thought about it.

 

“How often will I see you when I’m back at Hogwarts?” Harry asked.

 

Lucius sighed. “I don’t know yet,” he said quietly, “I will need to sit down and talk with Bla – Sirius. With Dumbledore and Severus, too. I am unsure if I should proclaim you as my mate or if I shouldn’t. The Dark Lord will without doubt know soon that I’m no longer one of his servants. Knowing why might make him less focused on revenge for now because he believes me less touchable and better protected. But I can’t say for sure. Let me meet with them in a few days and we will know how we proceed with our relationship.”

 

“I think I’ll die if I don’t see you,” Harry said quietly, and Lucius nudged him up to look him in the eyes.

 

“The bond doesn’t make you a person wholly dependent on me,” Lucius said calmly, “you are still your own person. You will soon feel again as your own person. You are not dependent on me. You can still defend yourself. You will only become vulnerable during your heat when you have trouble to fight off other alphas. Apart from that you can live your life without much input from me.”

 

“But I want you to give input,” Harry protested, lip quivering.

 

“I am always happy to give advice,” Lucius said, “but I expect you to remain Harry. Not Lucius’ omega Harry, but Harry. The desperate need to submit to me you are feeling right now will pass. I still expect you to defer to me, but I will not manage your daily life.”

 

“Okay,” Harry said immediately. Lucius felt his unease, felt the bond tremble with Harry’s fear of upsetting his alpha but he let it go for now.

 

“Why am I such a wuss when we meet other people?” Harry said, looking uncomfortable.

 

“Don’t call yourself that,” Lucius chided, “it’s the bond. You feel like yourself if it’s just us and you don’t if we are with others, because the bond goes in overdrive. The bond wants my attention, my attraction, my protection and it produces so many hormones right now that it overwhelms your rational self. It will tone down. It would tone down sooner if we could spend more time together without anyone else, but I don’t think we’ll get that.”

 

Harry smiled a tiny sad smile at that and cuddled closer again, eyes drifting slowly shut.

 

“Rest a bit here with me,” Lucius said softly and watched over Harry while his bondmate fell into slumber.

 

\--

 

The next day brought Severus, Dumbledore and Black to Lucius’ door.

 

He wasn’t too happy about it.

 

Harry pretty much disappeared behind Lucius the second he caught sight of Severus, but Lucius didn’t allow it this time, told him to take a seat at the table like a proper wizard. Black’s eyes narrowed in anger; Dumbledore’s face betrayed nothing. Severus smirked.

 

Harry shivered with shame and fear and Lucius took pity on him after a moment and pressed their legs together underneath the table.

 

Lucius loved decorum. Lucius’ whole life was structured along decorum. He knew that Harry’s wasn’t, and he was annoyed with himself that he couldn’t forgo it for his omega’s sake like he had done at the Burrow.

 

There was something about Dumbledore that had always brought out the worst in Lucius.

 

“I guess this isn’t a social call,” Lucius said when nobody spoke.

 

“No,” Dumbledore said after a moment, “not really, Lucius. The developments are – unpleasant. For all involved. I hope you can understand that I am – concerned. Deeply.”

 

Lucius didn’t answer. Next to him, Harry twitched. Lucius ignored it.

 

“We need to talk about the implications,” Sirius said harshly, “we need to know what you plan to do with Harry. I am ready – and Albus agrees – to provide Harry with various options that don’t include living with you. Suppressants, for one. Seeing him only for his heats, in a room provided for by us. You agreeing to break the bond and him bonding with someone – on our side.”

 

“None of these are an option for me,” Lucius said deadly quiet. He held no misconceptions about their ability to force him. The bond was not yet developed, not yet powerful, didn’t yet allow them to share their magic. Harry’s ability to manage the bond was pretty much nil and even if Lucius already had full access to his mate’s mind, the conversation remained pretty one-sided. Albus Dumbledore was the better wizard and Lucius wasn’t sure if he wouldn’t find a way to force Lucius to break the bond if he really put his mind to it. He had most likely only agreed to Harry spending his heat with Lucius because it was impossible to stop a heat already in progress, because the preliminary bond already caused Harry horrible pain during heat when other alphas touched him without Lucius’ consent.

 

Harry had started to cling to his leg underneath the table, fingers digging in so deep that Lucius was sure they would leave a mark.

 

“Harry,” Dumbledore said very gently, “how about you? What would you like?”

 

Lucius remembered the photograph of Grindelwald after his defeat, the panic and fear and desperate pleading and Dumbledore’s stoic face and thought _hypocrite_ with such vehemence it surprised himself.

 

Harry whimpered and didn’t answer, sinking more and more in himself.

 

“Have you forgotten what it’s like for an omega to be bonded in the first few days?” Lucius said with the infliction he knew drove everyone in the room nuts. Severus rolled his eyes at him.

 

“Lucius,” Dumbledore said, and Lucius could tell that he was getting angry. _So be it_ , Lucius thought; he knew Dumbledore’s anger better than most and the kind headmaster act had never fooled him. He could deal better with Dumbledore this way.

 

“Lucius how would Harry like to live with the bond?” Dumbledore continued and smiled at Harry.

 

Harry sniffled, opened his mouth and then turned away from them because he broke down in tears.

 

Lucius sent a mental warning as sharp as a whip and Harry jerked with it, shocked and betrayed and scared out of his mind. Lucius forbade himself pity; Dumbledore was not an opponent who would show mercy.

 

“He defers to me,” Lucius said, “and because he does, he will get up and go get himself in order and he will only return once he has _full_ control of his emotions.”

 

Harry stumbled up and away as fast as he could, but a closed door unfortunately didn’t close off his emotions and Lucius still felt them. Blocking him was not an option for Lucius now; not with an enemy in his home.

 

“Do you really think that necessary?” Dumbledore asked mildly.

 

“I handle my omega as I please,” Lucius spat, and Sirius sprang up on the other side of the table.

 

“I knew I shouldn’t have trusted what you said the other day,” he hissed, “you fucking spineless piece of –“

 

“Enough,” Dumbledore said, infusing his voice with power. Sirius sat back down. Lucius bit his tongue. Severus looked bored.

 

“What do you propose Lucius?” Dumbledore said. Lucius studied him and for a moment their eyes locked, master occlumens against master legilimens.

 

None of them won.

 

“Can we all,” Severus said, “admit that this is a complication nobody wanted to have. It brings with it a situation nobody expected. It required the building of new – alliances. It requires us all to – cooperate. Trust as much as trust is a prerequisite for getting rid of the Dark Lord which is, at the time, the only goal I think we all share.”

 

“Why don’t you start then,” Lucius hissed, “and tell me where _your_ allegiance is. Because I thought it was with me and with neither the Dark Lord nor the Headmaster.”

 

Severus sighed and looked away. Lucius briefly considered strangling him; one less beta in the world would make no difference to anyone at all.

 

“Oh by Merlin, Snape,” Black said, “and you expect us to –“

 

“It is with anyone willing to defeat the Dark Lord,” Severus said quickly, angrily.

 

They all fell quiet again. The bond was still weeping, and it was rapidly giving Lucius a headache.

 

“Harry,” Lucius said, “is my omega. Everyone here knows how very special a true alpha-omega-bond is in our time and in our place. We have decimated our omega population not just in recent years and with recent prejudices but for centuries. If you forget for a moment who we all are, the fact remains that Harry is a child and one of the few of his kind we have remaining in Britain. That alone should answer your question on how I will care for him. No harm will come to him. I will do anything in my power to protect him. Right now, he cannot be without me. And I will protect him from the consequences if he is taken from me too early.”

 

“Lucius, you do not really believe the assumptions of Segundus, do you?” Dumbledore said and sighed.

 

Lucius tried not to bristle and knew that he failed.

 

“My family had proof that Segundus was correct,” he said icily, “omegas are not by nature subservient. They are not by nature submissive to anyone but their alpha. Without them no alpha could have done what alphas have done in their past. Without Merlin, Arthur wouldn’t have brought peace. Without Grindelwald, you wouldn’t have become as powerful as you are. The difference between you and Arthur is that Arthur loved and protected his omega and cherished him for the power he gave him, while you treated yours as inferior, denied him his needs and wants, declined him the very traits that made him so special in the first place. You took from him everything because you thought you had a right to have it and you could take it because you are an alpha and it was inevitable it would turn sour. Talking derisively about Segundus is defamatory coming out of your mouth. You took the first few days of the bond as given, and you never tried to assist your omega finding out of the mindset he was in after being bonded. You ignored the strain he was under when you turned from him. You know that he found something in you that he brought to an extreme and pretending it never existed in the first place doesn’t make it go away. You talk like – Voldemort talks about omegas.”

 

“Some people,” Dumbledore said, and his lips were white with anger, “are twisted, sick humans incapable of love. Treating them any different –“

 

“You cast him away like cattle,” Lucius said, “you forced him to be without you, to live through his heats without you. Is he still crying and begging in your mind when he burns? You broke the bond, and nobody talks about it, but I know that the alpha will always feel the echo of what he has lost. Is he pleading with you out of that godforsaken castle and –“

 

“ _Enough_ ,” Dumbledore said, and Lucius shut up. Power was crackling in the room; Lucius’ bond cried out in panic and he reached out and soothed Harry instinctively, immediately.

 

“ _Alpha_ ,” Harry cried from the bathroom and Lucius shot one last angry look at Dumbledore before the got up and walked to Harry, closing the door with a bang that had Harry shrinking back in the smallest corner.

 

“I’m not angry at you,” Lucius said, forcing himself to calm, “I am angry at – the situation. Come here please. My love, come here.”

 

Harry came but he continued to shake, and Lucius pressed him against him, lifted him up and let him wrap his legs around his hip, breathed him in and allowed them both to calm down for a moment, before carrying him back to his dining table and sitting down with him.

 

The bond allowed Lucius to explain his behavior within seconds and he did; Harry didn’t exactly relax but Lucius’ could feel his acceptance of Lucius’ actions and loved him even more.

 

Harry didn’t try to come out of the embrace and Lucius let him, shooting Sirius an angry look when he opened his mouth to talk to Harry.

 

Nobody said a word for a long moment.

 

“I will not repeat your mistakes,” Lucius said quietly, “I will not start to believe the official propaganda of what an omega is. I will believe what I have seen my grandfather live. I will believe the truths my family has held. We have always had the highest percentage of omegas of any pureblood family in Britain. That will count more for me than what you can tell me. I will not get scared of what Harry means to me and I will not allow fear to rule my handling of him.”

 

“Harry is a horcrux,” Dumbledore said bluntly. The air was suddenly thick in the room; Sirius stared at Dumbledore as if he had grown three heads.

 

“If a piece of soul fractured off of Voldemort,” Lucius drawled intentionally unconcerned even though his soul felt as if ripped in half, “and lodged into the only other living soul it could find, he’s not a full horcrux. We will find a way to get it out of him if it needs to die before Voldemort can die. Harry won’t die from it.”

 

“Don’t be so sure, Lucius,” Dumbledore said. Sirius was still gaping like a fish; Severus was clearly already thinking.

 

Harry’s breath tickled against Lucius’ throat. Lucius was sure that he would black out if Lucius sat him down now.

 

A leap of faith – Harry had been strong enough to take that leap with Lucius when his heat had hit.

 

Lucius took a deep breath. “We should be more concerned about the horcruxes Voldemort created intentionally,” he said.

 

Opposite him, Albus Dumbledore slowly stroked through his beard and gave Lucius Malfoy the first genuine smile in their long years of acquaintance.

 

\--

 

Two days later, Lucius looked at the memo in the Prophet with a lot of resolve and a little reservation.

 

Harry had given the announcement of their bond only a cursory glance. He was nervous and unhappy about having to return to Hogwarts tonight; Lucius couldn’t be happy about it either. Their last days hadn’t been as relaxed as he would have hoped, had not given them enough time to settle in their bond, and Harry was high-strung and weepy, clinging to Lucius’ hand with all his strength after he had apparated them directly on the platform.

 

“Love, breathe,” Lucius said, and tugged him resolutely towards Draco, who looked nervous and uncomfortable. Harry didn’t let go of Lucius’ hand, but Lucius ignored it and wrapped his son close with his other arm.

 

“Draco,” he said quietly, and Draco clung to him for a second before letting him go.

 

“Father,” he said with a perfectly straight face, and Lucius was overcome with a wave of tenderness; his little boy was growing up.

 

“How was it at Blaise’s?” he asked, and Draco shrugged one shoulder.

 

“Perfectly adequate,” he said and glanced at Harry for a moment before looking back at his father.

 

“Has your mother contacted you?” Lucius murmured, and Draco shook his head.

 

“I will see you at Hogwarts tonight,” Lucius said even more quietly. “I am staying for the near future. Hopefully not too close to Severus or the amount of work I will get done is negatable. That’s not something you should tell your friends.”

 

The train tooted; Draco’s eyes swung to Harry for a moment before settling back on Lucius.

 

“Would Harry mind if I take him inside?” he asked, and Lucius could have kissed him again.

 

“Harry would much appreciate it,” he said, “but please take him to his friends as soon as possible. And maybe – have a little eye on him. He’s not yet feeling at his best.”

 

Draco nodded, and Lucius turned to Harry who was deadly pale.

 

“Decorum, darling,” he whispered to him, knowing full well that everyone was watching them, “hold your head high. I see you tonight. Don’t be scared.”

 

Harry leaned up and Lucius kissed him on the brow before shoving him towards the door, watched Draco reach a hand out for Harry to help him in after checking and gaining Lucius’ approval.

 

He smiled at Harry; the train slowly gained speed and Lucius Malfoy didn’t linger, turned instead and vanished with a pop.

 

He had a scheme to plan and a Dark Lord to kill.

 

\--

 

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Harry said and groaned against Lucius’ neck, back arched tight when another cramp forced more slick out of him.

 

“Easy,” Lucius whispered, “don’t fight it so much. I know it’s highly unpleasant, but you’ll be fine. We always get through this.”

 

“Shit, Lucius,” Harry said and groaned again, knuckles going white on the rim of the bathtub. Lucius nudged closer, took the washcloth and rubbed it down Harry’s chest again, over his sweaty neck and forehead.

 

At 28, Harry’s heats were sometimes so bad that Lucius dreaded them with all his being.

 

“I’m so sorry my love,” Lucius said quietly.

 

“Not your fault,” Harry said, and Lucius smiled tiredly against his temple, because well.

 

It had been two years of bliss, of being bonded, of growing stronger and closer, before they had destroyed all the horcruxes, before they faced Voldemort in battle.

 

And then Harry had gone off and got himself killed temporarily and it had broken their bond.

 

He still remembered seeing Harry again afterwards when Lucius had come out of the state he had been in, unable to respond or react to anything going on, despite the battle still raging in parts around him, people crying and mourning loved ones. Harry had kneeled in front of him, in the throes of a panic attack, begging _alpha, alpha, alpha_. He had just defeated the Dark Lord and it didn’t matter at all; their bond was broken, and both of their hearts and souls were breaking over it.

 

“Don’t let go off me,” Harry had begged, when he could say something other than alpha and Lucius had promised.

 

Sometimes he wished he hadn’t.

 

The bond wouldn’t reform, no matter what they did and tried. And yet, both of them couldn’t bond with anyone else either. It had been hard years during which Lucius had tried to get Harry to rebond to at least lessen his heartbreak; when Harry had finally agreed after dating Oliver Wood for over two years and that bond wouldn’t take either, he had cried so hard that he had thrown up all over Lucius.

 

They had tried staying away from each other; they had tried having a relationship. Both options hurt with the gaping hole of what used to be. In the two years of Harry’s relationship with Oliver, Lucius had seen less of him, but they were both like addicts, not able to let the other fully go. Harry would end up at the Manor more times than Lucius liked to count. Oliver had called Lucius on the eight day of the first heat he had spent with Harry, begging Lucius to come to London to help Oliver take care of Harry and Lucius would never forget the sight of Harry, ripped ass, bloody nipples and cock, completely incoherent with need. He had almost killed Oliver right then and there, ignored Oliver’s desperate shouts of “I tried to stop him Lucius, he wouldn’t. He just kept begging me to fuck him harder, he used a toy when I wouldn’t comply, he scratched himself like that and I couldn’t stop it”. It was only Harry begging Lucius to take him, to make it _stop_ that had gone through to Lucius.

 

“Please don’t make me try again,” Harry had said after his relationship with Oliver had crashed and burned and Lucius had promised, had been scared out of his mind by the depression Harry had fallen in.

 

“Can we fuck soon?” Harry asked now, another cramp forcing more slick out of him. If they didn’t wait long enough, Harry would now continue cramping during sex, would barely be able to take Lucius’ cock, not to talk about his knot. The key was to wait as long as possible and then to go as slow as possible, often for more than seven days. The longest they had to do it before was 15 and when Harry’s heat finally broke, he had looked haunted and empty, saying “I can’t to do this again,” in a voice that had scared Lucius deeply.

 

“Another hour maybe,” Lucius said. He could still smell Harry better than anyone else, usually knew Harry’s body better than Harry himself did. It wasn’t an hour; it was going to be at least three, but Harry always lost track of time completely during his heats and hearing an hour was easier than hearing three hours.

 

Harry whined, and Lucius kissed him.

 

It had cost them both a lot, but it had cost Harry more, ruined his health, both mentally and physically. A broken bond equaled a complete breakdown in body chemistry for an omega; it had been hard for Lucius too, but his symptoms had eventually stopped worsening. Harry suffered from insomnia, from depression, from phantom pains and cramps that had no real cause but forced him to stay in bed for days on ends with no charms or potions doing much, only giving him short-term relieve at best.

 

The boy who lived twice was a broken shell of the man he had grown in before defeating Voldemort and Lucius loved him more than anything. The bond had originally made them love each other; without it, Lucius had half hoped they could both go on, for Harry’s sake.

 

He had come to terms with the fact that he would always love Harry more than life by now. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t good, but it was.

 

Lucius was still locking for a solution, still hoped to find a reference, any reference to a situation like theirs. For a time, he had hoped when Dumbledore and Grindelwald rebonded but their situation was different; a bond willingly broken could apparently be willingly restored.

 

Lucius knew that Harry and him had been a direct reason for Albus to reconsider his own relationship with Gellert and he had been happy when they reconciled. Nowadays they didn’t see each other; witnessing their happiness felt like burning ash in his mouth.

 

“I hate this,” Harry was saying, and Lucius leaned forward, kissed him soft and slow and sure. _Me too_ , he thought, knowing full well that his thoughts were safe in his own mind, that nobody knew them anymore like Harry once did.

 

“I enjoy spending quality time with you in this freezing cold tub,” he teased instead and watched Harry huff out a breath of a laugh.

 

“Thank you,” Harry said, and Lucius kissed him again. “Always,” he said, quiet and sure and held Harry through it like he had done in the last thirteen years.

 

 

 --

 

 

“He’s been doing poorly,” Remus said quietly. They had all met at the Burrow for Easter and Lucius had been shocked when he had seen Harry.

 

Lucius had followed his career to the US two years ago; Harry had been in a new relationship for a while before he had left and quietly hopeful that Lucie and he would be good together, that she could fill the hole the bond had ripped.

 

Lucius had hoped too; maybe another omega was just what Harry needed and he had pushed him to accept the relationship, to share Lucie’s heat with her, to accept her fully in his life. Harry had been reluctant yet besotted with Lucie and for a while it had all looked good until Harry had called him three months ago and said, “she broke up with me and I’m fine and you don’t need to come back.”

 

And Lucius hadn’t, until now.

 

Harry was 33 when Lucius had left; Lucius was 59 and he just – couldn’t. Couldn’t continue seeing Harry with others, couldn’t accept that their lives were fucked up, couldn’t continue with Harry’s heats. They had become so bad that Harry now had to spent them at St. Mungo’s, drugged with about a hundred different potions and Lucius couldn’t watch it.

 

It was Remus who had sat down next to him when Lucius watched over Harry during one of his St. Mungo’s heats and told him to leave.

 

“I care about you,” Remus had said, “even Sirius started to care about you before he died. You are running yourself in the ground. I know you can’t help it; I know what Harry means to you. But even Harry isn’t willing to do this anymore. Take the job and leave and let us protect him.”

 

Lucius regretted taking the advice now; Harry looked awful, looked like a skeleton, needed a goddamn cane to walk.

 

“I thought you would like it,” Harry had teased when Lucius had stared at the cane with a sense of betrayal, “used to be your thing, you know.”

 

“Shut up Harry,” Lucius had said harshly, and Harry’s face had fallen and all Lucius could do was touch his neck in apology.

 

“No shit,” Lucius told Remus now, continued watching Harry in the garden with all the little Weasleys of a new generation. Once Lucius had maybe hoped to have another little Malfoy running around with them. It hurt thinking about that now.

 

“He doesn’t just look awful, though,” Lucius said, “he looks as if he’s close to death. I know that you know. Why didn’t you call me?”

 

“Because I promised him not to,” Remus said very apologetic. “He made me swear. I’m sorry.”

 

“Fuck it all to hell,” Lucius said and went outside to join Hermione, Ron, Draco and Harry at the Weasley garden table. Harry smiled at him when he joined them, and Lucius stood behind him, rested his hand on his neck like he had done thousands of times before and wanted to weep.

 

\--

 

At 42, Harry’s body was giving out on him and it took a toll on his memory. The only person he didn’t forget was Lucius.

 

“That’s Hermione,” Lucius said patiently, “she has known you since you were eleven. You once freed a dragon together. She punched my son in the face. She’s the best goddamn witch I know.”

 

“Shut up,” Hermione said and continued crying all over Harry.

 

“That’s Molly,” Lucius said, “she’s been raising you since you went to Hogwarts. She loves you just as much as she loves all of her other hundred children. She doesn’t want to see you cry, baby.”

 

“I don’t remember,” Harry said, crying, and Molly shushed him, went back to her needle work and refused to be intimated by the fact that Harry had no idea who and what she was talking about.

 

Harry was always crying now, and he was always pleading with Lucius to make it stop.

 

“That’s an old picture of us,” Lucius said quietly, “you were 17. We had just gotten married. We still are by the way. That’s Ron, he was your best man. That’s Draco, he was mine. I kissed you in front of the Ministry and Albus Dumbledore cried and asked me if I thought he could ask his omega for forgiveness. They died early today arm in arm, just mere minutes apart. I always wished to do the same with you.”

 

“Mhh,” Harry said. He was too weak to speak, to incoherent, his brain a jumbled mess of hormones and mush. His next heat would kill him, and Lucius wouldn’t allow him to die burning. _I promised to keep him from harm_ , he had written this morning to Draco; the letter would only arrive at Draco’s home in an hour and Lucius had all the time in this world.

 

“Loving you was the biggest pleasure of my life,” Lucius said, “and the greatest duty. The one thing I would never take back. You made me a better man. You made me me. I regret so much not being able to save you.”

 

Harry looked at him and Lucius knew that he was thinking his name, that it was the only word left Harry remembered.

 

“I see you at the other side,” Lucius said calmly. The spell was painless; Harry didn’t survive it a third time and Lucius sat holding his hand until Draco came, until the Aurors came, until Ron wrapped him into his strong arms.

 

Then he wept.

 

\--

 

“Lucius,” Harry said, “Lucius, Lucius, Lucius. I have missed you so much. I am so happy you’re finally here. Lucius, I only wanted to say your name in the end.”

 

Lucius buried his face in his hair; this Harry looked just as he had looked at 26 and yet he looked healthier than the real Harry had ever looked at 26.

 

“My love,” Lucius said, and Harry bared his neck and Lucius bit him and in eternity the bond flared to life once again.

 

 

 


End file.
